Friday, October 26, 2007


OK there has been a new development to my situation. I will be contributing to (It's short for Freedom, Glory, America) There are going to be 2 of us contributing to this so content will be more frequent and hopefully better. I'm still going to write like I have been; still recap the Real World etc... etc... also Mr. Pibb will pop his head in every now and then. This site will remain as my pre-merger archive, so if your looking for older articles they'll still be at but all new content will be at Thanks for your support. End Communication.

Hockey is Sweet

Tale of the Tape

Zdeno Chara- D- Boston
Height: 6'9"
Weight: 251
Birthplace: Trencin, Czechoslovakia (modern day Slovakia)

David Koci- LW- Chicago
Height: 6'6"
Weight: 238
Birthplace: Prague, Czechoslovakia

I didn't watch the Bruins last night because I was watching my Sox stick it to Colorado but it's a rule of mine that any time time a Czech and a Slovak over 6' 5" get into a hockey fight, I have to post it. There was clearly some national pride at stake in this one.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

World Series Prediction Based on Random Collection of Photos

Until I just visited I thought that the World Series was going to be pretty interesting and then I saw this picture that they had on their main page.How much more intimidating are the Red Sox than the Rockies here? Beckett looks like he is about the murder someone, seriously I think whoever took that picture immediately collapsed of a brain aneurysm or something. Oritz has that bad-ass "I know something you don't know" smirk and looks 3 times the size of everybody else. Manny, well, Manny is just Manny he could give a shit if this was June 24 or October 24.

Now the Rockies, Matt Holliday (I assume that it's him on the left) looks a little surprised and doesn't really give me anything to make fun of him for. Todd Helton is rocking his poser Kevin Youkilis goatee and trying his best to look hard while giving his Blue Steel look. Sorry I can't really be intimidated by anyone hitting below the Mendoza line in the playoffs. And that brings us to little Jeffy Francis. Look at that guy, seriously dude looks like the biggest nerd in human history. I kinda feel sorry for him actually. I would probably be more intimidated batting against Orville Redenbacher than Jeffy.

That being said I think the Sox can win but the Rockies do make me a bit nervous, except for Orville. Sox in 6

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

BREAKING NEWS: Tuesday Sucks

I've got a crazy theory for all you Freedom Readers out there. NBC should show its Thursday night lineup (My Name is Earl, 30 Rock, The Office, and that one with the guy who likes dudes (its the one with the hospital, i think)) on Tuesday night. Now before you flip out and write threatening things in the comments section (I'm still waiting for the first!) hear me out. I've got two solid reasons for you. 1) Thursday is a sports night. During the football season a quality college game is shown on Thursdays and once the NBA starts TNT has its basketball coverage on Thursdays, which is must-see programming because of Sir Charles. Last week I had to watch Game 5 of the ALCS and SFU v. Rutgers, and that left no time for Dwight, Tracy, and Jack Donaghy. And reason 2) I need something to look forward to on Tuesdays. Thursday night is sweet enough as it is; you get to knock back a couple beers and daydream about how you're going to do the bare minimum at work the next day and your plans for the weekend. Tuesday sucks, its a scientific fact. There's nothing to watch (unless you watch that Caveman show, which i boycott because those cavemen are pretentious assholes) and you still have more than half of the work week ahead of you. So tonight instead of watching quality TV shows I'm going to talk myself into watching the Rangers v. the Penguins on Versus, sweet life, I know. And on Thursday there is game 2 of the World Series AND the Unforgettable Hokies laying the smack down on BC's rudy-poo candy ass. I know that Thursday has always been NBC's night but who the hell cares, switch it to Tuesday so I don't kill myself.

PS- Fuck you if you say I should get Tivo.

Monday, October 22, 2007

King Conn #23 in the BCS

As everyone knows UConn beat Louisville on Saturday night and held one of the best offenses in the country in check. Brian Brohm had his worst game of the season as the Connecticut defense proved it is one of the best in the nation. I know the Huskies were helped tremendously by a really, really crappy call on a punt where the UConn returner signaled for a fair catch but the refs didn't blow the whistle. However, that play was evened out shortly after when, on a UConn punt, a Louisville player touched the ball and the Husky gunner recovered at the 1-yd. line and the refs gave the ball to Louisville instead. So its even. Anyway UConn is finally getting some respect and is at 23 in the BCS standings and in the high 20s in most of the polls. The first-in-the-Big-East Huskies host South Florida on Saturday afternoon. If, before the season, you predicted this game would be between two top 25 teams than people would have called you insane and probably kicked you in the nuts for being so stupid.

PS- UConn's QB Tyler "Destroyer Class" Lorenzen is the real deal.

Reaction to Game 6/Nancy Drew

I know that the Sox have already won their 12th AL Pennant but I just wanted to quickly comment on game 6 (since I was there but no big deal), particularly Nancy Drew. After the game someone asked me if Drew's grand slam made up for everything. I thought about it for a minute and replied, "No, it's like if someone kicked you in the junk everyday for a year and then one day gives you $20." I stand by that surprisingly lucid comment, considering the state I was in. Anyway... World Series prediction: Pain (Sox in 6)

Friday, October 19, 2007

Mr. Pibb's Put It In Your Head Song of the Day

Well, well looks like Doug's Red Sox held off the Injuns long enough for him to get to see his first playoff game. In honor of my patron's impending saga Mr. Pibb presents you with possibly the most obvious song of the day yet. It still rocks hard but it wasn't the most creative Mr. Pibb has ever gotten.

So sit back, grab some Red Vines, and let your ears take you away...

Today's Track- "More Than a Feeling" by Boston

And a bonus track since Mr. Pibb is feeling generous: Incredible version of "Fat Bottom Girls" by Queen.

This entire concert (Live at the Bowl- '82) is one of the greatest rock shows ever. They take all of their hits and kick them up like 7-8 notches. Its unreal.

Don't Worry, Be Manny

I know this is a bit of old news but was any one who has followed the Red Sox surprised by Manny's "it's not the end of the world" quote. That's how Manny has rolled since day 1 and I don't get why the sports media is making such a huge deal out of it. Also they didn't even give the full quote where he goes onto explain that he'd trade in all his individual accolades for another World Series ring. I don't think any Boston fan was shocked or upset by these comments but the talking heads at ESPN made it seem like we were flipping out and murdering people over this. So I'm going to try to do something new at the Freedom Blog and put up a poll (on the right-hand sidebar) where you can vote for whether Manny's comments were out of line or not...

P.S. Manny has been f*cking raking this October

P.P.S. I'll get to the Real World at some point but this past week's ep was so uninspired that it is going to be hard for me to get motivated. Hopefully I'll have it up early next week.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Does my "friend's" editor have any idea about sports?

OK I have to keep this post vague and shrouded in mystery because I don't want my "friend's" editor to read this, get pissed, and can him. A little background: My "friend" writes for a publication that may or may not exist a couple nights a week. He usually writes about 3 stories a night that have to do with sports. Now I and my "friend" have suspected, for a while, that the higher-ups know virtually nothing about sports based on several different things that have been allowed to get published (i.e. the Red Sox have been referred to as baseball's lovable losers, which is false, that's the Cubs). My theory was confirmed last night when my "friend" was assigned to write a story about the USF v. Rutgers game. My "friend's" editor emailed him, writing that the game would probably end during his shift and to write up an article. Now this was last night, a Tuesday night, and last time I checked the game is on Thursday. So unless my "friend" is working a 50 hour shift than there is no chance that he can write that article. Now this may seem like an honest mistake, and I suppose it could be, but what red-blooded male in their right mind (who is a sports editor, no less) thinks a BCS-conference game involving the #2 team in the country is going to be played on a Tuesday. There is almost never a game on Tuesday and if there is one it involves the MAC or the SWAC or some other crappy conference.

So Freedom Readers, could this be an honest mistake or should my "friend" be running the sports section at this publication that may or may not exist?

PS- UConn is beating Louisville this Friday night, you can take that to the bank.

Red Sox Picture Essay

So my Sox are down 3 games to 1 and have there backs against the wall. Beckett is on the bump Thursday night which gives me a lot of confidence that they can get it back to Boston (which I hope on my life they do since I have a ticket to game 6 (knock on wood)). Anyway I feel that the pitching hasn't been the Sox's problem but their hitting so I have compiled a visual breakdown of their lineup...

1. Dustin Pedroia aka John Clayton, 2B- Dustin has seemed overwhelmed in the playoffs, especially this series, and as Jon Papelbon pointed out the other night, he kind of looks like ESPN personality John Clayton although I don't think he expected him to hit like the professor.

2. Kevin Youkilis aka Eff You Kevin Youkilis, 1B- Youk hasn't been that bad this series but that dropped foul ball last night might have ended that 5th inning earlier. Side note: Check out Jon Papelbon interviewing Kevin Millar for the hilarious quote: "Kevin Youkilis actually feeds off how ugly he is." Its a bit long but worth it.

3. David Ortiz aka Magilla Gorilla, DH- He's been an absolute beast since the beginning of September and he's been battling a ton of injuries. I LOVE YOU, Dr. Zaus, er, I mean Papi.

(Magilla Gorilla, Gorilla for sale...)

4. Manny Ramirez aka the Man Ram, LF- If you thought I was going to bash Manny then you clearly have no idea what I'm about.

5. Mike Lowell aka Yoda, 3B- He's so wise, like a Cuban Buddha covered with hair. I can't say anything bad about the elder statesman, whose actually not that old, except that the Sox probably shouldn't resign him to a deal over 2 years so they can throw a ton of money at Miguel Cabrera when he comes on the market after the 2008 season.

6. JD Drew aka Nancy Drew, RF- I actually think this is an insult to Nancy Drew since she has done a lot more for me than JD (I always wondered what was up with that old clock and she figured it out, not that I ever read any of those books...). Also Nancy could probably get on base more and be a decent situational hitter. I can't believe JD's getting paid $14 million... (Note: I tried to find a picture of JD Drew looking at a called third strike, late in the game, with runners on base but it was surprisingly hard to find which is weird because I don't think I've ever seen him do anything other than that).

7. Jason Varitek aka Captain America, C- I know he hasn't hit but I might as well say I hate freedom if I bash him...

8. Coco Crisp aka hilarious monkey pitchman for similarly named cereal, CF- Coco has done absolutely nothing since coming to Boston other than play great defense. I understand that great center field play is key to a good team but it can't be good that he's batting .250, can it? Anyway I'm pretty sure this monkey could get at least one clutch hit in two years.

9. Julio Lugo, aka Skinny Ethiopian Kid from South Park, SS- I'm not as down on Lugo as everybody else because he's a decent no. 9 hitter. Then I remember when they let Orlando Cabrera go to save a couple bucks and I want to shoot myself in the face. And he looks like he hasn't had a good meal since the 90's...

Manager Terry Francona aka World's smallest man. I think these pictures speaks for themselves.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

I am Awesome

I don't like to brag or anything but last night I absolutely dominated the remote control. I was simultaneously watching the bottom of the 9th of the Cleveland v. Yankees game and the final 2 minutes of MNF between the Cowboys and Bills. I am not lying to you when I say that I did not miss a single pitch or play from either. It was truly one of the greatest moments in television-watching history. I know there has to be some luck involved but that goes for virtually all great accomplishments. I feel that the key to my success was confidence. Confidence built through long hours watching football and baseball. Confidence stemming from knowing how long Joe Borowski takes in between pitches. Confidence in the fact that I am awesome.
End Communication.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Mr. Pibb's Put It In Your Head Song of the Day

That's right monkeys Mr. Pibb is back to tell you what hot track to shove in your ear.

Mr. Pibb has decided to piggy back on the concept developed over at Barstool Sports and declare today's song of the day a Cougar Anthem. What is a Cougar Anthem, you ask. I'll let the experts from the Stool handle this one:

1. If the song is BY an actual cougar - Stevie Nicks, Heart, Pat Benatar, etc. you're
automatically in. It's like getting 3000 hits or 300 wins. "Seventeen", "Barracuda", "Love is a Battlefield", all locks.

2. If the song is NOT by an actual cougar, it needs to be a song about a cougar, i.e. Boston's "Amanda", Kiss' "Beth", The Eagles' "Witchy Woman" or Queensryche's "Jet City Woman."

3. Finally, the last criteria is the "sky-punch" a.k.a. "rockfist", whichever you prefer, needs to be mandatory when the chorus "kicks in". Examples again include "Jet City Woman", Def Leppard's "Rocket", and Twisted Sister's "I Wanna Rock". If you don't meet the first two criteria, you have to hit #3 - the mandatory "sky punch", because if there's anything cougars love more than hitting on younger men and chain-smoking Parliaments, it's sky-punching.

In Mr. Pibb's opinion the preeminent Cougar Anthem is Bad Company's Feel Like Making Love but according to votes conducted at the Stool the Scorpion's Rock You Like a Hurricane is the #1 Cougar Anthem of all time. Anyway Mr. Pibb's own personal favorite Cougar Anthem (Mr. Pibb was the first to officially recognize this as a Cougar Anthem, by the bye) is today's Put It In Your Head Song of the Day.

So sit back, grab some Red Vines, and let your ears take you away...

Today's Track- "Love In an Elevator" by Aerosmith

This song is so awesome for so many reasons that Mr. Pibb's head will explode if he tries to list them all.

BREAKING NEWS: A-Rod Likes Dudes

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

I have to go now...?

Well it's been a fun week and a half but it appears that I may be moving on to greener journalistic pastures. Barring any sort of tremendous blunder (which I am not ruling out) I'm going to be contributing to It's a news website thingy that summarizes news stories into a couple sentences. I'm not sure how much I'll be contributing to this thing but this either means I am going to have A) a lot more time to write on this blog or B) a lot less time to write on this blog... probably the latter. I'm going to try my best to keep recapping the Real World (because I just can't help myself) and hopefully do at least one long sports related post a week (I know you all can't get enough of my flawless (read: 3-10-3 last week) football predictions).

Mr. Pibb is also sad to go the way of the evening newspaper but he will post a song when that song demands to be posted. He asked me to tell you that he still loves you all and he wouldn't have change a thing...

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Curb Your Enthusiasm

I'll be honest with you, as much as I love Curb, this past episode was bad, pretty, pretty bad. If you had watched at least 2 prior eps, from any season, you knew right away that that lady in the ice cream store was vital to the kids getting into Dryden. You also knew that L.D. wasn't getting away with stealing those flowers. The only suprise was when Larry didn't let that Dean of Admissions have it after she called him obnoxious etc... It was one of those eps where you want to to slap Larry in the face and be like what the hell are you doing? Why didn't he just go buy new flowers instead of trying to steal the ones back from the lady... just an all around frustrating ep. The most frustrating thing being the fact that Leon was no where to be seen. He was HILARIOUS in the last show, he needs more face time.

Other random Curb thoughts...

-This is the second ep in a row where Jeff has been rocking Under Armour. (Last ep he was wearing a T-shirt while helping the Davids move and this ep he was wearing a polo early on).

-I thought Larry was banned from Jeff's house, so why didn't Suzie give him the business when he was there.

-Speaking of that scene, wtf was Larry eating out of a ziplock bag?

-Cheryl is still smoking. She f'ing brings the heat.

-The funniest part of this ep (probably the only funny part) was when Larry gets back home after stealing the perfume and pushes the two kids out of the way so he could get upstairs faster.

-Actually there was another funny part when Funkhouser called Larry his best friend and when he said he was an orphan. Typical Funkhouser bullshit.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Mr. Pibb's Put It In Your Head Song of The Day- Monday the 24th

Ah Monday, a day of poor quality. Hopefully Mr. Pibb's latest Track of the Day will make you feel better. Mr. Pibb's been hoping to save this track for a special occasion but since it looks like Doug is about the off himself, Mr. Pibb thinks Mr. Pibb needs to pull out the big guns today.

So sit back, grab some Red Vines, and let your ears take you away...

Today's track- "A Quick One (While He's Away)" by the Who

This track is a bit long but it is definitely worth it. The rocking out at the end is simply unmatched, Pete Townsend's windmill guitar playing is phenomenal. Bonus points for this track because it is a mini-rock opera, which happens to be Mr. Pibb's favorite form of artistic expression.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Mr. Pibb's Put It In Your Head Song of the Day- Friday the 21st

Yo yo yo! It's the last day of summer so Mr. Pibb's got some bonus songs for you to Put In Your Head!

So sit back, grab some Red Vines, and let your ears take you away...

Today's track- "Can I Kick It" by A Tribe Called Quest

Tribe is Mr. Pibb's favorite old school/east coast rap group. They are incredible. Mr. Pibb encourages everyone to go to the store and buy their Anthology.

Here are some bonus summer-themed videos to help you mourn the passage of a tremendous season.

"Boys of Summer" by Don Henley

"Summer of '69" by Bryan Adams (Yeah, that's 2 Canadian musicians in as many days, Mr. Pibb will try to avoid this in the future).

Enjoy. Have a great weekend. Peace.

Dr. S' NFL Picks of the Week

Here's a breakdown of this weeks matchups in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. My season record to date is not good (13-16-3) but I feel like I'm going to turn it around real soon. You won't find any crazy stats here, just my gut feeling about teams (maybe that's why I'm doing so poorly...). So here they are (Home team in CAPS).

Indy (-6) over HOUSTON- Lead Pipe Lock of the Week

Houston and Matt Schaub have looked impressive in their first two contests (wins against Carolina and the Chiefs). Carolina is a decent victory but the Chiefs are the worst team in the league. Also stud WR Andre Johnson is out for the game. Look for the Colts to win big.

Buffalo (+16.5) over NEW ENGLAND

Listen, I love my Pats, they're the best team in football hands down but there is no way they cover this spread. This has all the makings of a 20-7 snooze-fest where Belichick doesn't try to do anything fancy. Heck, it could be a lot closer than 20-7. New England has a tendency to let bad teams hang around a little bit because they don't want to show their hand to the rest of the league. On top of that, the Bills are one of the few teams that hasn't whined about Belichick, include that with the whole Kevin Everett injury and the Hooded One will probably show some mercy against the hapless Bills.

NEW YORK JETS ( -3) over Miami

Look for the Mangina the Hypocrite to rebound against a Miami team that has not played well but will be frisky enough to keep it close, especially because Chad Pennington will be playing for the Jets. Look for a low scoring game, something like 13-6 with a lot of cheating by New York.

Detroit (+6) over Philly - UPSET SPECIAL

The Eagles are not a good team. They throw the ball 50 times a game for some reason and history says you can't win by playing like that. Detroit has emerged as a pretty decent team, especially now since God is helping Kitna recover from injuries. Factor this in with Philly's Brians (Westbrook and Dawkins) being questionable and you wonder why the Eagles are favored. Hey McNabb, you don't get criticized because your black, it's because you suck and haven't won anything (sweet NFC Championship ring though, dude.).

PITTSBURGH (-9) over San Francisco

I hate the Steelers and everything they're about (cut your freaking hair and change your number, Polamalu) but they have looked pretty good against some BAD teams (Cleve and Buffalo) while the 9ers have squeaked by some fair competition (Arizona and St. Louis). San Francisco and Mr. Small Hands haven't been able to move the ball effectively. However, the 49ers D has looked very good with super-rook Pat Willis (not my hall mate from sophomore year at boarding school, the 6'1" 240-lbs black man from Mississippi) clogging up the middle. I think this game will be close but with the Steelers pulling away late, something like 20-10.

TAMPA BAY (-3.5) over St. Louis

St. Louis with out Orlando Pace is like Thanksgiving without the turkey, you still get a nice meal but something is seriously missing. Add to that, that all Jeff Garcia does is win football games and you have the Bucs covering easily.

San Diego (-5) over GREEN BAY

Green Bay has looked good, especially on defense, but I don't think that either of their opponents (Philly and the Giants) are particularly good. On the other hand this Charger team talks like they invented football and their QB has been very poor. I think LT steps up this game and Favre throws 3 picks which will be forced by pressure from 'Roid Rage Merriman and the rest of the very good Whale's Vagina pass rush.

BALTIMORE (-8) over Arizona

Arizona looks to have a revamped defense but their offense has been nothing more than decent. Baltimore should be 2-0 right now and will be fired up to play at home. Arizona will keep it close but I picture Ed Reed taking a Leinart pass the other way for 6 in the 4th quarter to help the Ravens cover.

Minnesota (+3) over KANSAS CITY

Kansas City is bad, like miserable bad, like 2-14 bad. I have no idea why the are favored to win this game (I guess because of homefield advantage and possibly the return of Jared Allen). Regardless whether Tavaris Jackson or Kelly Holcomb start for the Vikings, Herm "I did a terrible job" Edwards will find some way to blow the game (and probably Larry Johnson's ACL in the process).

OAKLAND (-3) over Cleveland

Cleveland's 51 point outburst against Cincinnati is like when I hooked up with this hot chick with a nice rack at a Dave Matthews Concert (you don't know how it happened, you don't why how it happened, but there are 2 things you are sure of 1) that Cincy and that girl felt terrible about themselves the next day and 2) it will probably never happen again). On top of that the Raiders defense is much better than Cincy's. Look for the Scuttler (Lamont Jordan) to have a big (150+ yards) day and Oakland to cover easily. Cleveland's season peaked last week.

SEATTLE (-3.5) over Cincinnati

I could be totally wrong about this one but the Bengals looked awful on defense and Seattle will be looking to avenge that loss to the Cardinals. Honestly I have no idea.

DENVER (-3) over Jacksonville

The Jaguars are a bad team. It's that simple. While Denver has not looked impressive and Ron Jaworski's man crush (Cutler) hasn't wowed people they are still good team who will win 10 or so games. One of those will come today over the Jags (who are realizing that cutting Byron Leftwich (who has Heart of a Champion) brought them some serious negative Karma).

ATLANTA (+3.5) over Carolina

Not really sure why. I don't want to write anything about this game because it will depress me. If this is the game that is on TV in your area, you should probably move.

WASHINGTON (-3.5) over New York Giants

The Giants defense stinks on ice and I blame Michael Strahan and the giant gap in his teeth. Seriously, they don't even look like they're trying. Jason Campbell has looked very good and so has my man Clinton Portis. Week 1 was fluke for the black-sheep Manning boy. They should put in the Battleship just for fun. Look for New York coach Tom Coughlin to get fired at half-time.

Dallas (+3) over CHICAGO

I think Dallas will score enough points on the Bears to put the game out of reach for Sexy Rexy. The Bears will score 2 touchdowns (one on defense/special teams and one on a bomb to Bernard Berrian where Roy Williams completely misplays the ball) but that won't be enough as the Cowboys score somewhere in the 20-28 range. Note: I hate this pick and will be rooting for the Bears, Dallas sucks.

Tennessee (+4) over NEW ORLEANS

Yeah, I know the 'Aints will be fired up to play at home but they have looked terrible. And don't forget Rule #1 of football: Vince Young wins games and Rule #2: unless he is playing Tom Brady. The Titans will win outright and the 'Aints can go back to being a footnote in the NFL.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Mr. Pibb's Put It In Your Head Song of the Day- Thursday the 20th

Listen up! Mr. Pibb is back to tell you what hot track to listen to. Yes, that's right the most underrated softdrink promotional character of all-time is here to tell YOU, the always open-minded reader, what to Put In Your Head today.

So sit back, grab some Red Vines, and let your ears take you away...

Today's Track- "Distant Early Warning" by Rush

Here's a link (not the best version ever but still awesome)

Although they are from Canada, Rush is, in Mr. Pibb's opinion, one of the most underrated bands around they rock incredibly hard for a group with only 3 members. For more information on Rush please consult your local library.

My Desk

This is my Paint rendition of my desk... and yes, that is a Yogi Bear cup that I keep my pens in.

Kids = Stupid

So last night I decided to tune into CBS' new reality series Kid Nation where the abandon 40 kids in a ghost town in New Mexico. These 40 kids are divided into 4 districts and they competed to see who gets what job they do and how much they get paid ($1, $.50, $.25, or $.10) etc. etc.... It was kind of intriguing, I suppose but what really got me thinking was, "Was I really this annoying and stupid when i was 11 or 12?" I have to think the answer is, unfortunately, yes. Kids are dumb, very dumb; so I was also dumb. People like to talk about how kids are smarter than you think but I disagree.

For instance, one of the kids on the show wanted to buy a bicycle from the general store but it cost 3 bucks and since her district lost the challenge she had to be a laborer and only made 10 cents a week. So she decides to dance for nickles (the only denomination of currency in Kid Nation) so she could afford the bike. So she has to get 58 nickles (she already has two) from the rest of the kids to buy a bike. She pulls it off somehow (even though she sucked at dancing). So that means that by dancing for an hour she just made about 30 times as much money as she got paid for the week. That also means that she accumulated over 15% of the entire wealth of Kid Nation (because there are 370 total nickles). If you were to apply this money-making strategy to America then you would come out with $1,969,500,000,000 (thats 1.96 trillion; or 15% of 13.13 trillion ) for an hour of dancing. Again, the moral of the story is: Kids are dumb.

And yes, I have way too much time on my hands.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Mellars, where the hell do you get your hair cut?

My buddy Dave just wrote about how he hates getting haircuts because its a big hassle for him apparently. Here's an excerpt:

"Let me preface this by saying I'm not a huge fan of getting haircuts, because I believe... the conversation you have to have with the person cutting your hair is worse then having a conversation with a certain Geneva Davenport. When I do... sit down to get my haircut, thats all I'm looking to do; just get a haircut. I'm not interested in the person whose cutting my hair, or their life story. ...To make matters worse I tell her I like the haircut (which I clearly don't) and she charges me 29 bucks for it."

My question to Dave is: Where the hell are you getting your haircut? I absolutely love getting my hair cut. I go to Anthony's Barber Shop in Waterbury, CT. Tony's is the type of place where I feel the most comfortable. It is a small place in a strip mall where every square inch of the walls are covered in sports memorabilia and I'm not talking about some crappy poster of David Wells or something but autographed photos of Joe DiMaggio, Babe Ruth, and Ted Williams. There is at least a dozen game-used bats in the corner from the '40s and '50s. There isn't any fancy waiting room just a couple chairs right behind the barber chair and a stack of Sports Illustrateds and Playboys. There is a TV in the corner that is either on ESPN or YES (so its not 100% perfect, sue me). The waiting is also enhanced by the other clientèle (most of them would kick my ass for using a word with an accent mark), there are a lot of old guys who will tell you about how they'd go see Duke Snider play or what it was like to be on a PT boat in WWII.

And the best part about it isn't soaking in the incredible atmosphere or reading nudey mags but talking to Tony (he's the owner and sole barber) while he's cutting your hair. This guy knows everybody in town and always has a great story to tell about going to Yankee Stadium or something like that. He's a Yankee's fan, granted, but he's classy enough to know that I'm a Sox fan so he talks about how great a park Fenway is or some other enjoyable topic. He always knows about the movies that are out and he's usually pretty right about what's good and what's crap. Just a solid all-around guy. I guess there is a sink to wash people's hair but I don't think its ever been used (and there certainly is no citrus smelling shampoo). Also, if you need it he'll give you a hot shave with a straight razor. All this atmosphere and conversation and you feel like your stealing from the guy when you hand him your 12 bucks; I'm usually in such a good mood when I leave I'll give him a 20. Oh and I always get a pretty good haircut.

Well, besides this Dave's got some pretty interesting things to say so peep his site.

Mr. Pibb's Put It In Your Head Song of the Day

Listen up, Donkeys! Mr. Pibb here to tell you what hot track to listen to. Yes, that's right the most underrated softdrink promotional character of all-time is here to tell YOU, the always open-minded reader, what to Put In Your Head today.

Now these songs won't be found on the Top 40 and they won't be the most obvious songs by certain artists (such as Rock and Roll All Nite by Kiss (although that song is great)) but some tunes that have slipped under the radar. So sit back, grab some Red Vines, and let your ears take you away...

Todays Track- "I've Seen All Good People" by Yes

Here's a link to a live version-

and to the album version, which Mr. Pibb prefers-

Simply a tour de force of a song by a band that hasn't gotten enough play over the years.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


Anyone else watch K-Ville last night? Normally I don't watch cop shows but I saw this one had Anthony Anderson in it and I knew I needed to watch it. If you don't know who AA (that's what his friends call him) is go rent Malibu's Most Wanted, Harold and Kumar, and the Departed. Now that's range. Basically AA stars as a cop in post-Katrina New Orleans who is teamed up with Cole Hauser (who played Benny in Dazed and Confused). It is a pretty bad show with a too much editing and a camera that shakes (I suppose to add to the intesity) but AA's performance is simply phenomenal. His character is a hard-ass who drinks on the job and doesn't play by the rules. His character is so freaking intense while I was watching the show I head-butted my dog so hard that we both screamed. Anyway if you enjoy AA as much as I do then this show is definetly worth your time. Did I mention that AA's police boss is Drew's transvestite brother from the Drew Carey Show?

Is this really what life is like?

I graduated from college this past June and have since started working a 9-5, white collar job. I've been working for almost two months now and I think I'm going to end up killing myself. In college I would go to class for a couple hours, then go to football practice, and then go party with my friends. I would go out maybe 5 nights a week and it was awesome. Now I get up at 7:30, cry, go to work, work, go home, cry, have dinner, watch crap on TV, and then cry myself to sleep. Repeat. On the weekends maybe I'll go visit my brother in Boston or maybe I'll to to a concert or something, which are both fun things to do but then on Monday its back to work. This is terrible. I have to win the Lottery or something otherwise I'm going to crack. Work sucks... at least not as much as homework.

Spy/camera/video/witchhunt gate

I'm not the most objective guy out there, I'll admit that, but this whole Bill Belichick thing has passed the level of ludicrous and has wandered into the "Red Dawn" zone. (Referring to the Pat Swayze movie where Russians invade America. Like the Belichick debacle it has a puzzling premise to begin with, the players are transparent, your not really sure you should be wasting your time paying attention to it, and it goes on for way to long.) For anyone who has been in a cave on Mars with their fingers in their ears for the past week, the Patriots were caught videotaping the New York Jets defensive signals in the first quarter of their Week 1 game. Nobody has really conveyed to me why videotaping the opposing coaches signals is a big deal other than "it violates the rules," which is a garbage reason to begin with; America was founded on breaking the rules. To paraphrase Otter from Animal House, "Well, you can do whatever you want to [Belichick], but [I'm] not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America."

Anyway... you're allowed to look at opposing coaches during the game, right? So what if you were to hire a stenographer to manually record the signals using words to describe them, is that cheating? Why is using a video camera such a freaking big deal. You're allowed take aerial photographs of the opposing defenses from a blimp and then send them down to the sidelines for the QBs to study but God forbid you should videotape the opposing coaches signals. Am I missing something here?

The worst part about this whole thing is that somehow no one is talking about that P.O.S. snitch Mangina. He had to have known the Pats were doing this while he was there (and winning rings, by the bye) but suddenly he has a moment of conscience two years later and decides to spill his guts to the NFL Fuhrer like he's an "unlawful combatant" in Gitmo. That's crap. There are two things I rememeber my dad telling me when I was little, (1) everything you touch turns to shit (which is a whole other issue) and (2) don't ever, ever, ever, snitch. But no one is calling out the Mangina (the 0-2 Mangina) for being a snitch.

Finally, you could almost hear all the studio analysts rooting for the Chargers on Sunday night, especially Jerome Bettis. He questioned whether the Pats cheated to beat his Steelers teams in two AFC Championship games. Hmmm... In 2002 I wonder what defensive signal they stole to have Troy Brown house a punt on your hapless Steelers and how they cheated when Troy blocked a field goal and flipped it to Antwan Harris who took it 60 yards to pay dirt. Regardless, when the Patriots put the BEAT DOWN on the Chargers (a team many had going to the Superbowl) they completely ignored it.

Well, I guess that's about that on the Belichick front, other than that this Pats team is unstoppable and will leave teams decimated in its wake as it unleashes never-before-seen destruction upon the rest of the league.