I am Awesome

I don't like to brag or anything but last night I absolutely dominated the remote control. I was simultaneously watching the bottom of the 9th of the Cleveland v. Yankees game and the final 2 minutes of MNF between the Cowboys and Bills. I am not lying to you when I say that I did not miss a single pitch or play from either. It was truly one of the greatest moments in television-watching history. I know there has to be some luck involved but that goes for virtually all great accomplishments. I feel that the key to my success was confidence. Confidence built through long hours watching football and baseball. Confidence stemming from knowing how long Joe Borowski takes in between pitches. Confidence in the fact that I am awesome.
End Communication.